Dear Heathy Men: You’ve mentioned several times in this column that men don’t go to the doctor as often as women and that they live shorter, sicker lives than women. I’m sure that’s true. But what I really want to know is why. Why don’t men take better care of themselves?
A: A number of factors keep men (and boys) from being as actively engaged in their own health care as they need to be. Here are some of the biggest ones:
— Socialization. When we’re little, boys are bombarded with the idea that “big boys don’t cry.” When we’re in high school, we’re told we need to “take one for the team.” And when we hit adulthood, it’s “man up.” Overall, the message is clear: Asking for and/or accepting help is a sign of weakness. Not surprisingly, men and boys ignore their symptoms and stay as far away from medical providers as they can.
— Media messages. In a comprehensive study of print advertising for health products and healthy lifestyles, Dr. Salvatore J. Giorgianni, Jr. found that ads were half as likely to be directed at men than at women. “This sends a clear message to boys and young men that (a) only women and girls have health-related needs, and (b) taking care of one’s physical or mental health is women’s responsibility,” says Giorgianni, co-founder and vice president of Healthy Men, Inc. (healthymen.org).
— The health care system is unwelcoming. A 2019 Cleveland Clinic survey found that going to the doctor is “so unappealing” that 7 in 10 men would rather do household chores, like cleaning the bathroom or mowing the lawn, than go to the doctor, and 77% would rather go shopping with their wife or significant other than to the doctor. As a result, about two-thirds of men prefer to self-diagnose and the same percentage will wait as long as possible before finally agreeing to see a provider. By then, it’s often too late.
Some of the blame for men’s experience of being unwelcome and uncomfortable in health care settings rests with providers. A majority of men in the 2019 survey said they would be more likely to have regular checkups if medical offices had more flexible hours. But even when they do make an office visit, according to researcher Will Courtenay’s “Dying to Be Men: Psychosocial, Environmental, and Biobehavioral Decisions in Promoting the Health of Men




